The 1 Thing I Wish I had Prepared For

I wish I had known just how lonely loneliness could be. Loneliness has become my best friend and my worst enemy. When the one thing you need the most is someone, just one single person, to let you know you aren't forgotten. To know that all those times you were: there when they needed that ride home from the bar because they were too drunk to drive, the shoulder they cried on because their relationship was over, the person they called when they needed help weren't just because they knew you'd be there. When you need someone the most, you often realize just who you can really call your friends.
Having surgery is not just something you need to prepare for physically, but emotionally as well. When I went to stay at my parents house on the Cape to recover from surgery, I had a feeling that I wouldn't see my friends since I was going to be so far away. Yes, there were a few who promised they'd come visit me, that we'd talk on facebook, skype, etc. But just because you're stuck on the first floor of a 3 story house, unable to go outside and enjoy the sunshine and the warm summer breeze does not mean that the worlds comes to a screeching halt simply because it did for you. Nor did I expect it too. Going into the surgery, I knew that I was basically giving up my entire summer and would really have nothing to look forward to except going back to Salem in the fall for school. Back to where my friends would be. Back to my normal routine of going to classes and hanging out with friends between them.
Coming back to Salem was not anything like I had anticipated. Since I was still on crutches getting around campus was hard. I wasn't supposed go over 180ft from my car to class, and if you know Salem at all, parking is a nightmare. The first two weeks of classes, I missed many of them due to no parking. While I do have a handicap placard, there simply just aren't enough spaces. Going to class was/is the one time of day that I get to see people, interact with humanity, have a conversation with someone other than my cat. So when I had to drop 2 classes[one online], it was upsetting. Now I'm only taking 2 classes that meets 4 days a week, and the rest of the time, I'm alone.
Going up and down stairs[I live on the 3rd floor] multiple times a day really is not an option right now. My ankle gets tired, I get tired, and it's just too hard. Granted if I was invited to go somewhere with someone, I'd make it work. But the issue is that I'm not. My friends have all fallen to the way side. This leave me alone when I'm not in class and it's hard. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Stay at home knowing my friends are all out having fun and I'm stuck at home without even a text inviting me. Yes I have reached out, numerous times, to people asking what they're doing that night, or if they'd want to come over and watch a movie. I always get the same answer, "I'm sorry, maybe next time?"
It's really starting to make me question if I ever really had any 'real' friends here at all. Sure I know people get busy, things happen, but I don't think there has been a single night that I haven't gotten a text or phone call from a friend asking me if I wanted to do something. If I wanted to hang out. I'm not trying to be all 'poor me' but this is the reality of the situation and it sucks.